am i giving up or just getting started?

it's too much, this world. there is too much choice. too many pieces of sand and besides, the sieve lets everything through.

i'm called in so many directions. how can i be expected to sift through it all to find the truth? how should i know which voice to listen to? some voices offer beautiful rewards. some tragic consequences. some both. so many of them don't seem to conflict at all, most collide in unpredictable ways. but some of the voices deny this overlap. despite the crashing noises, they ignore the collision. and they call me to do the same. who can tell anymore if the voice is a wolf, learned to imitate sheep? the devil sounds pretty, my friends. but so does God.

i keep expecting some sort of clear response. but every day a fog lifts and another one settles. it is exhausting. and i weep for you.