from the belly, like a child

even as i look around my room i am confronted with so many different possibilities. so much potential for learning. i suppose i have been holding on to all this for a time when i'm meant to make more use of it. but at the same time i want to slap myself on the wrist for ignoring it for so long.

we live in an age, people. isn't it astounding? the potential for learning? the potential for creativity?

so much needs to be done. it's just a matter of relaxing into it. accepting the reality that you've always been creating for yourself. ending up exactly where you've always been going but didn't know. you are just what you've led yourself up to.

and here is a difference between people:

those who believe they hold the control.
those who know better.
the ignorant.

though not to sound self righteous. like i've known all along and i'm better than anyone. it's really not like that at all.

the truth of the matter is that i am childish and i refuse to accept any responsibility for my life. allowing it to unfold on its own so i don't have to make any decisions.

though, i have never been ignorant.

(though i do declare some moments of)

so i just kind of noticed it.

i don't pretend to have figured this out. and even when i have tried to, i have failed. and what is supposed to happens anyway.

be like children.

i don't pretend to understand.