ignorance is bliss?

how long do i have to sit here and stare at the little red blinking number before something inspired takes hold of me? it's too bad that's not how that works.

i trudge along now cause i know that it gets better. it always has before. i slip in and out and wonder once again am i just lazy? or slow? or is this just how it is for me? this is what i should learn to accept? trudging is on the verge of acceptance. i will dangle on this edge for some time. because if i'm just lazy, acceptance is a dangerous territory. i dangle on the edge here but in other places, i struggle to claw my way out as i've already managed to land myself in. the walls are high and treacherous.

in other places, i lie peacefully on the chasm floor.

shutup, you. go to sleep.