Thursday, February 16, 2006

A World Without Shoes

I'm a YouTube Boob.

I wonder how many websites i am actually registered at now. I've made billions of accounts over the years. I wouldn't even be able to begin to remember.

I love the internerd. It's truly amazing. And i seem unable to stop myself from jumping on every new virtual bandwagon. So i guess online videos are the new online photo, then? That's fine, i'm in. I need my fix.

This world is like a whole new world.

Can you even imagine a world without the internet? Without televisions? Without cell phones? Without blackberries? Without telephones? Without electricity?

Can you imagine a world before mirrors? Before books? Before shoes?

There was such a world once.

I was at the doctor a while back for a sore ankle and countless other hypochondrial ailments. I stepped off the porch and totally rolled my ankle and then started bawling my eyes out and making a huge dramatic idiotic deal about it. Mind you, i was pretty drunk at the time. But anyway, the friend i was with promised me i wasn't even hurt but just shocked. Well, i should remember that my friend isn't a doctor. That was months and months ago and i am still having ankle problems and probably always will... but there was a point to this rant. So there i am at the doctor and i am telling him about how my ankle feels like it might be healing wrong and he asks me what shoes i wear. I obviously point to the shoe on the other foot, with the holes and no support, though super comf and seriously chill shoes - kind of like i'm homeless but still got style! - and my doctor proceeds to inform me, like i didn't already know, that i need better shoes with better support. I pretend like i am going to heed his advice but inform him that i don't leave the house much, so it doesn't really matter. So then he starts talking some crazy talk about wearing shoes around the house and that being the only way my ankle is going to heal. Shoes around the house??! He must be joking and i tell him so. He assures me he is not joking at which point i wonder aloud, "So what did they do before shoes, then?"

Now, i thought this was a rather clever and intriguing question, if not slightly funny. My doctor mutters to himself "before shoes!" like it's the dumbest thing he's ever heard in his life. Embarassed, i try to redeem myself: "I suppose they had more important things to worry about," trailing off, "dinosaurs, caves......"

Still, i refuse to wear shoes around the house. Or let my super chill shoe style waver with a pair of preppy supported sneaks. Most importantly, I refuse to entertain the notion that we have nothing to learn from a time before shoes.


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