that is home

you know it's a wonder any of us can even get through the day. with what we have to go through to get there. and while it may seem small to you, all i really have is me. so it's all i got to go on. and boy the easiest of things can be difficult to get through. it's a wonder we do it.

and i'm constantly, constantly surprising myself. when every day is the end of the world.

i've grown a long way since my sensitive youth. it's just that things keep getting harder. and i imagine they will for some time.

i wonder how much of it is real, and how much of it i'm just making up.

i should be clearer. i should have more of a point.

what's the point?

you know i could try. but i've tried before and trying's so contrived.

but i feel i've a message.

and you get the point.

i live in someone else's world. i walk around in someone else's dream. i read other people's books. i speak out only briefly but loudly. i talk in whispers, but you can't see my mouth moving. i hear things from all over the place. i wish i didn't doubt so much. but deep inside i see. and i know that one day i'll sort it out but mostly it just confuses me. but i know i've got it right in some place. there is some place i know. and in that place i'm ok and all right about everything. and in that place, i dazzle. and in that place, i never tire. and wherever that is, that is home.