Monday, February 27, 2006

... It's a Long Story.

My apologies.

You will forgive me.

This is not a request.

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

There was an incident.

It involved the following:

- one brother

- one flight of stairs

doctor: how many stairs?
bruder: oh let me think. i was counting them as i fell: one F*&% MY LEG! two DAMNIT MY FACE! three MY BACK! four OH NO WAS THAT MY TEETH!? five.... the hell if i know!! IT WAS A LOT OF STAIRS.

- three chipped teeth

- two badly hurt knees

- a dash of fluid in the sinus

- one locked jaw

- one chin gash

- a handful of facial bruising

- one concussion

doctor: can you tell me how long you were out for?
bruder: oh let's see. well, i was counting again. One *i'm glad i'm passed out so that i can't feel my body* Two *it sure is dark in here* Three *i think i need to go to the hospital*.... the hell if i know! I WAS PAAAASSSED OOOOOOUUUUUT.
doctor: well, can you guess?
bruder: LEAVE MEEEE ALOOOOOOOOONE

- one wake up call for said concussed brother every one to two hours = one wake up call for for me every one to two hours

me: wake up, bruder
bruder: ok, i'm awake *asleep again*
me: wake up, bruder. you must be fully awake. we'll have to have a conversation.
bruder: LEAVE MEEEE ALOOOOOOOOOONE. I JUST WANT TO SLEEP.
me: I JUST WANT TO SLEEP.
bruder: you are tough.

- one broken, casted arm

me: oh, you could have gotten colours!!
bruder: yeah, it was basically just this gay light blue and glow in the dark. i wasn't gonna pick the blue.
me: well, what about the glow in the dark?
bruder: GLOW IN THE DARK??!! it would have kept me up allll night.

- eight hours plus in the emergency room

bruder: i just want to go to sleep
me: i just want to go to sleep
bruder: *lays down to sleep on the waiting room floor*
nurse: i'm sorry you can't lie down there
bruder: LEAVE MEEEEE ALOOOOOOOONE. I JUST WANT TO SLEEP.

- ten different waiting rooms

- three x-rays and one CT

- zero sleep

- a million years of anxiety packed into a very small amount of time

- two friends to drive to and from hospital and hang out with me

- a million thanks to aforementioned friends

- a million long distance phone calls

- a dash of suspicion

- one great big cosmic joke

- one guardian angel making sure the whole thing wasn't worse than it was (ie. broken neck)

- one terrible, terrible, TERRIBLE night/day

- one incredi-sister

bruder: i have the best sister in the world
me: i know.

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