Unicorns Are Hard To Come By

ah, the joy of having no friends and having to tag along with your brother to his frat party, with your sister and to hang out with your sister all night in every spot that every person happened to want to be in at the exact moment that we were there.

did i mention i hate parties?

did i mention i'm always standing in the wrong place at a party?

did i mention i wasn't even drinking?

did i mention it is st. patty's day?

all in all, though. i had a decent time at the party. (my real st. patty's celebration, of course, is my church party tomorrow night. now there's a real party. and i know enough people there to get a pretty decent free drunk. party on party people in the lord's house! lawl)

z and i had the good fortune of being somewhat celebrities by association at this frat though... being the sisters of a pledge, and the sisters-in-law of a previous president and of course the sister of his wife, who happens to be well known by many frat boyz.

boy 1: so i was on the phone out there and i looked over and i saw you and i wanted to tell you that you have really great style and eyes like wow and bla bla bla (some more stuff)
me: oh. thanks. *awkward as per usual*
boy 1: who is this, a friend?
me: that's my sister.
boy 1: what brings you two here?
me: brother *points to w*
boy 1 *looks closely at w and turns back slowly*: you are k's sisters aren't you? and now i must be a good boy.

he proceeded to tell z that she is just like k, for reasons that i won't get into cause i didn't totally understand them.

that's what we like to call the upper cut to the jaw.

w: what are you doing?
boy 2: i am just going to hit on some cute girls. hey, you are a cute girl.
z: hi
w: that's my sister, guy.
boy 2: i didn't mean anything by it, w.

that's what we like to call the gut punch.

boy 2: i know your brother-in-law. he's a real good guy. i'll be leaving now.

and that's what we call the gut punch followed by the upper cut to the jaw. KO! so hilarious.

then of course, we have the totally random boys.

swiss boy: are you foreign?
z: no.
swiss boy: you look foreign.
z: uh, no. we're from right here.
swiss boy: you look german.
z: nope.
swiss boy: so let me guess you guys are like '86?

are you effing kidding me? i don't know how people think i look my little brother's age.

a: uh, not quite buddy. and by the way, we are not twins.
swiss boy and friend *shocked*

now, i don't see it. i really don't. ok, ten years ago i could have seen it a tad. but now i just don't see it. at. all.

then i pointed out my bro to see if they thought we looked similar, because i think we look more similar than z and i, but they didn't think so. but then they proceeded to tell me that me and the bro have the same smile and the same eyebrow movements and facial expressions....

dude. like how long had he been watching me?

and my brother?

weird.

but let me state for the record that i was expecting a lot more out of my first frat party. like in the movies... aren't they supposed to be all hot boyz. of course, sleazy for the most part. but at least nice on the eyes. z and i staked the place out playing our typical game.

random guy: who did you say was gay?
me: i said 'let's play the game'
random guy to friend: she said you were gay.
random guy's friend: i am totally not gay
z: that was a little defensive, guy, so i don't think i believe you.

back to the game. basically it's a sorting game. like the sorting ceremony at hogwarts (yeah, i'm reading them. yeah, i'm into it. yeah, whatever. judge me).

lizards.
dogs.
teddy bears.
unicorns.

yeah... so notta one unicorn. furthermore, as it turns out, z and i have wildly differing opinions on dogs and teddy bears, though there were only about two teddy bears for each of us and this was even a stretch. needless to say, there were a lot of lizards. one of them even put his effing arm around me. like where do lizards get off?

thankfully, most of the lizards kept their claws to themselves.

*keep in mind, this is just a game*