Monday, January 30, 2006

Love

The most heart warming moments in my life come in small soundclips and small bunches of words. It's not the whole letter, the whole conversation, the whole experience. It's the small, small moments. For example, i received this small bit of words from one of my favourite people in the world, my cousin:

"i forgot to attach this to my last message:

a, i love you so much i would die for you.

and i still feel warm and fuzzy inside.

thank you.

m."

That was days ago and my heart still beats stronger because of it. And most likely it always will, i just won't be as aware of it. Every act of love makes the heart stronger. People tell you that onions are good for the heart... but they're wrong; it's love.

Here is another recent heartwarming moment in my life:

"your different i believe.
that's a GOOD thing.
your cool."

Maybe it doesn't seem as powerful as the first one, but you have to take into account a lot of factors. The first one was something that, although it may not have been said just like that before, was something i instinctively knew about my relationship with my cousin. The second one was a little more unexpected.

So go through all your old letters and emails and memories and find those small moments that make you stronger. Here are some more of mine (if you can't find any of your own, just know that someone out there feels these things about you... they just may not know how to say it. So say it first):

"i think j almost loves you more than i do (but this is not possible)."

"i feel so very blessed that our paths have crossed!"

"this particular moment will forever remain with me in the deepest recesses of my soul. it has brought me more comfort than you will ever know and continues to provide me with inspiration to this very day."

"you make me feel like i'm drunk alllll the tiiiiiime."

"Unless you didn't know, I'll make it clear to you. You kick ass. You're pretty. You play music gorgeously. And you sing like you were dancing on the head of a pin while being counted by philosophers (I borrowed bits of that last phrase for D. Adams. I don't need the credit -- sure, it's not as cool, paraphrasing others when you're trying to make your own point, but fuck it).
You talk a mile a minute, and even if most of us can only listen half as fast, we still hear the best parts."

"a., you are my favorite a., always remember it's true, there's only one you."

"that is why i need more of you."

"love."

... it's nice to remember you are loved.

... it's nice to remember those you love.

just know that i love you.

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