I Have A Secret

there are a lot of things you can do on the internet. in fact, you can make a whole night of it. in fact, you can get yourself psyched up for a night of it and feel guilty about turning down real world plans - i hope they don't think i am turning them down because i have a date with the internerd; or i hope they don't think i'm a loser because i turned them down because i have a date with the internerd; or am i a loser because i turned them down because i have a date with the internerd?

of course. not saying this happens to me. er.

to err is human.
to sin is divine.

it's supposed to be forgive isn't it? is it bad that i couldn't think of that until just now and that i started trying to think about it three hours ago? am i a loser?

life is a competition. only the strong survive. don't show weakness. don't even think about crying. walk it off. walk it off.

walk it off.

anyway. the internet.

i love the internet. what a wealth. the good. the bad. the ugly. the beautiful. the reprehensible. the criminal. the magnificent. the awe-inspiring. the truth.

it's all truth. it all makes up the truth.

we all make up the Truth.

i have a secret.

i have many secrets. but i was thinking of one in particular.

i hope it turns out well. i hope you will be there to see it. i must start working immediately. err. sometime in the near future...

ahhhh, it just really set in there. that's better. relax. breathe. it's not going to get easier to understand from here. hold on tight. light loose.

if this is just e n g l i s h . . . . . . ?

imagine the possibilities.

that was beautiful. but you might not have been there to witness it. or at least you might not have been aware that you were there to witness it.

oh. i'm sorry... i haven't made sense in a while. it's not your fault. mommy and daddy still love you. please. don't cry. it's just that. . it's just that. . . i'm not sure of anything anymore. so everything comes out like this. of course. it all makes sense to me. it's. just. that. . . there are a few different modes. you happen to catch me in one of them often lately. which makes sense if you realize that certain scenarios are more prone to a certain mode. and i tend to have time/like to write in certain scenarios. so i write in certain scenarios. inevitably, as logic dictates, i write when i am more prone to a certain mode.

the logic wasn't flawless. and you know how i feel about perfection.

perfection is defined by imperfection.

they said.

the new cups seem so oriental to me. they are decorated with helmets and coat(s?) of arms. and i know this. and still. everytime i look at the cup, it seems so oriental to me. i called them the oriental cups to my mom and she almost spit her food out. that's when i realized it wasn't some sort of oriental design. that it was really helmets with coat(s?) of arms.

upon analyzing the cup though, i make note of the fact that the design is repeated three times all around the cup, and the background is clear. because of the clear glass, the design is seen again in the backdrop of each design, though entirely eskew. i guess it looks like oriental dragons or something to me. that's just my guess. it could be a number of things, i guess.

. . .

i didn't ditch my friends tonight for the internet. i had other reasons. i will not justify myself. but i did end up finding myself on the internet. and i remembered why i love it. is all. that's why i brought it up.

i have a nasty habit of overexplaining myself.

i have a nasty habit of coming back to the already gone.

i worry to much.

i can smell you, nasty hobbit.
- the dragon (some castle, the adventure-filled forest.)

forrest. forest. forrest. forest. . forest. they all look weird to me.

priviledge. priveledge. privilige. that one tripped us up this morning.

that was paraphrase. by. the. way. and that's just an address. for. your. information.

and the dragons name is Smaug.

smog. it's appropriate.

ten points if you can figure out what book i'm reading. but you're thinking why do i need points? when i've been writing so long, it's like your birthday already anyway. and you'd be right. you don't need points, cause it's your birthday. happy birthday.

that's not only hilarious. it's also extremely synchronic.

it is my birthday. (not my birthday). i didn't even remember until after. i didn't even mean you.

but this is just more proof again that. i. rule. the. world.

it was a really powerful moment when i finally realized that the world did not rotate around me.

it was a really powerful moment when i finally realized that the world did rotate around me.

you wouldn't believe me if i told you. you shouldn't have to. (it revolves around you, too).

we all make up the Truth. (i have a secret).