Monday, May 8, 2006

The Return of... I Got Nothin'

congratulations to rally and his pretty lady on their new born baby. i wish the three of you all the joy in the world. my only advice is to love every minute of it. (who am i kidding? i have given crap loads of advice on this matter in the past months).

who am i kidding? they both have so much going on now that they probably don't read this anymore... prolly no one does because i haven't been writing.

z, tell me you are still checking back. please. i need you!

i haven't turned on my computer in days. i feel unnatural here right now. i don't know what to say. like those times you run into old friends from high school and you kind of stand around awkwardly not knowing what to say.

*awkward moment*

but i guess that was only for me, because you are getting all my thoughts one after the next. not stalled and disjointed.

i'll tell you what's going to be awkward though... me, in a dress, at z's formal with a boy i've only met once for a brief conversation - though a nice conversation - surrounded by tons of strangers who all know each other and know that i am not one of them. i don't know what i've gotten myself into.

me = sleeping
phone = ringing.
me: hello?
z: hey, i have someone who wants to ask you something.
random boy: WANNA GO TO THE FORMAL WITH ME? *this question was asked with excessive force and quickness*
me: huh? wha? what time is it? who is this? what's going on? is this a joke.

cut to next morning.

me: mom, z's friend asked me to the formal last night. isn't that ridiculous? like, there's no way i could go.
mom: you are going.
me: huh? wha? what time is it? who is this? what's going on? is this a joke.

now. don't get me wrong... i make it sound like this is the last thing in the world i want to do. i do love to drink. and the occasional party is nice. but i don't really love getting dressed up. and i will have to drive four hours saturday and monday just to party for the night in an expensive dress that my mom ordered for me online that may or may not fit me once i get there to meet the package. oh. not to mention the fact that i generally don't like to meet people and all that social anxiety/awkwardness... though this may be somewhat relieved by the alcohol (open bar!) or perhaps heightened. i can't be sure. anyway, there's nothing like experiencing something outside your limits. bypass the familiar. every once in a while, i suppose, it's important to venture outside of your own familiar territory and satisfy yourself that you can indeed handle anything that might come your way. anyway, all in all i am excited to go. z's fun to drink with now and again. anyway, i don't even know what i'm talking about anymore. i'm confounded.

like variables.

but not all of them.

you wish i hadn't come back. i'm out of my element.

my new element is fast cars and loud music and sunglasses at night.

there's nothing like jem playing so loud in a car that the bass causes wind to blow through your hair.

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh thank goodness...my days have been, shall we say, missing something. I love the return of the blog and the ode to a dance with me. It will be fun, interesting, a little awkward, but FUN!!!!

-Z

Wednesday, May 10, 2006 5:56:00 PM  
Blogger Rally said...

I was away, but now I have returned. Thank you very VERY much.

It is nice to know you are thought of, even if it is across the country from someone you have never met!

Sunday, June 11, 2006 2:15:00 AM  

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