Sunday, May 27, 2007


it's not so easy to delight in each other. so much ego. so much not so easy. but it can be done. we can delight in each other. or even if not always, at least some of the time. it is only for Him that this is easy. He delights in His creation. so it is unreasonable to set up God-like expectations on other people. and even better to be amazed by the God-like qualities of others when they are able to do so some of the time. and all the more amazed when they are able to do so about you. it's amazing. people delight in you.

we just can't solely rely on them to do so.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

just an acknowledgment email: yes, i'm still here.


i can't believe i am back. had to take things back into my own hands. had to get the job done.

do it yourself, obviously. duh.

this is a much better situation than it was before. doors closed and opened, you know? down and up, like usual. a roller coaster ride.

i'm not gonna lie. i stole your pringles, i hope you don't mind. i'll only eat a few. but i know you don't mind.

why are there so many opened cannisters? it doesn't make sense and when things don't make sense, that worries me. but whatever. enough worry for the day. i'm back on the internet for peter's sake. you missed me while i was gone.

i can tell. (no i can't). i can tell.

i have lots of things to do now. lots! toodles.

Monday, May 7, 2007

that is home

you know it's a wonder any of us can even get through the day. with what we have to go through to get there. and while it may seem small to you, all i really have is me. so it's all i got to go on. and boy the easiest of things can be difficult to get through. it's a wonder we do it.

and i'm constantly, constantly surprising myself. when every day is the end of the world.

i've grown a long way since my sensitive youth. it's just that things keep getting harder. and i imagine they will for some time.

i wonder how much of it is real, and how much of it i'm just making up.

i should be clearer. i should have more of a point.

what's the point?

you know i could try. but i've tried before and trying's so contrived.

but i feel i've a message.

and you get the point.

i live in someone else's world. i walk around in someone else's dream. i read other people's books. i speak out only briefly but loudly. i talk in whispers, but you can't see my mouth moving. i hear things from all over the place. i wish i didn't doubt so much. but deep inside i see. and i know that one day i'll sort it out but mostly it just confuses me. but i know i've got it right in some place. there is some place i know. and in that place i'm ok and all right about everything. and in that place, i dazzle. and in that place, i never tire. and wherever that is, that is home.