Thursday, November 30, 2006

so someone has kindly pointed out that you have to select the circle in front of the the raymi link and then scroll to the end and click submit vote. yeah, that was pretty stupid of me. oh, they have so kindly pointed out that i ramble as well. awesome.

happy one year old

holy frig, guys. it's my blog's one year birthday. let's have a pool party!
... oh and i know that cause of the blog rank thing at the bottom of the page. it's weird spying on people. spying on myself. don't worry. i can't pretty much tell anything about you except what country you are looking from and whether you came directly here or from facebook. yeah facebook.

oh weird. i just thought of a lot of people i have on facebook. and the people that could be reading this and now scanning my brain for all the things i have let slip from this brain.


weirdest. feeling. ever.

well. i guess it's a little late for that anyway.

i think i heard a bug.


i win!

woah. dudes and dudettes. there are more of you than i thought. hello. it's a pleasure. like, you can send messages and stuff. it's kind of the point. you'll get a december mix tracklist if you comment telling me what you want. or if you comment and i know you already so i already know what you want. just wait. december will be awesome. i'll write in full sentences some of the time!

ps. if raymi reads my blog, i win. so click on the link, cause i think she can see where you come from, and then if she sees a lot of traffic from here, she might visit. and then, as i told you: i win.

oh, and she would probably like me to tell you to go to the canadian blog awards page and vote for her. so click there, then ctrl+F: raymi and then i think you click on the link. and then back and ctrl+F: raymi and then click next and then click on the link. and then do that second step one more time. i think that's how you vote. i am still waiting to hear back from raymi to see if i'm a fool and voting wrong. isn't it awesome how i pretend i know raymi irl. (that's world-of-warcraft for 'in real life'. yeah, i know blogstalking and wow - an online game for anyone who doesn't know cause they are not a huge nerd loser - i am a really creepy. it's awesome. i'm less creepy irl. someone post and agree with that who knows me irl. i know. stop using irl you are yelling at the screen. lol.

ok, so seriously. back to raymi. can someone please remember for me what it is called when a whole bunch of people witness something, but no one takes the responsibility to do anything about it because they think one of the other whole bunch of people will do it. well, i love raymi's blog and i didn't vote, because of that phenomenon. and now i feel bad now, like i was in ny city and heard someone get raped in an alley, and thought my neighbours would do something about it. that didn't really happen in my life guys. it's just the example that the phenomenon is always based on when i learned about it so many different times in psych.

that and memory. we were always learning about those things in every class. like that's prototype psychology or something. that's my stereotype of psychology now.

anyway, don't watch raymi get raped, ok? you don't even have to read. just vote. and it's not really cheating or anything, or irresponsible, like when people don't learn about the people they are voting for in real, important elections and they vote based on what other people tell them. i do not do that. i just don't vote. you can post comments about how that makes me a horrible person, if you want. i don't mind. mostly, i just like the attention.

the ram loves attention.

raymi, what's your sign?

seriously, that's getting creepy, eh guys? mostly, i am trying to gain popularity because if i were blogfriends with her, then i would be famous by blogassociation.

i have to take this thing more seriously.

life's a competition. my dad says.

anyway. it's not like cheating, because you are just making up for my foolishness and not voting before because i thought everyone else was. just scrambling for even footing. oh, and it's not like you guys are an army. unless the army is made up of like six people and they only show up every so often. sounds like an awesome army. if i had to be in an army, i would want to be in that one. congratulations, guys. best army ever. we won't be taking no countries. but i'm pretty fine with that.

anyway. raymi.

do it. you can't have that irresponsibility of the masses phenomenon, cause i assure you. you aren't a mass. just a pretty chill little army.

i like you guys.

and not the codeine talking.

is that a SLEIGH BELL i hear!?

aren't you guys excited? man, i love december one. so much hope. so much christmas excitement. so much longing for beautiful winter nights. so much keen for buying presents and having them be

so-oo good.

if that was in a thought bubble maybe you'd get the reference. that was sarcasm. for even with the thought bubble, probably no one would get the reference. peeps. checks it. teen girl squad, more specifically to find this reference.

anyway, i love december one. i have so much christmas spirit at this early stage in the game. even though i already think it's late, because i know for so many previous years, i have thought to myself, i will be done by december one next year. no more going through this last minute anxiety. but i'm sure i'll do it again this year. but at this point, i'm not worried about that.

know what else i'm not worried about? that migraine that's been plaguing me for two days. because it's pretty much gone. just a little bit of that linger linger. but for the most part. all better. still my ears need popping, but all within the limits of handling.

ok, so ladies and gentlemen. i'm going to get back to my only happened once before tradition, but i am super excited about it, but with a fresh squeeze this year. remember the weeks of december christmas mixes. but with a twist. i have made like five mixes this year. they are for different people at work. there are still more to make. much of which will overlap with last year's mixes and the other person's mixes. but they will all be enough explained that you will know which ones interest you. last year, it was only for myself. this year, i think of others.

oh, also. i am going to plagiarize last year's christmas countdown. because even recycled can be new a year later. it will bring you back. i promise. unless you are new here.

- i love these parts. when i start talking to my audience like i have one. it feels so... multiple personality delusional. it's awesome. you should try it. -

anyway, you don't get a mix today. nor do you get a picture. obviously. it's only november thirty, people. it's like waiting to open your christmas presents. or waiting for others to open your christmas presents. like when you get something you really think they'll like. i feel like an asshole: yeah, you'll have to wait till december twenty-five, cause like that's the day man. it has to build itself up in this totally intense number of hours and the peak is supposed to be so much more up there than the rest of time. forget that mentality people. sets you up for crashing. start enjoying it now.

you should see how i used to write a year ago. totally different. much more easy to understand. so weird how it's like reading what someone else has written. so weird how it's me. i used to write in real sentences, people, i swear. i sort of like it. it's sort of weird.

ok, i love you people.

love is not weird, people. relax.

maybe it's the codeine in the tylenol talking.

i love you people.

i already said that.

Thursday, November 23, 2006

note to self you love this.

you guys are so lucky. it's that christmas time of year again. the hunt has been successful. and refreshed. you are in it.

well. pretty much i have no complaints. slap me three times for every time i take this for granted. and pretty much. i have you all to thank for it.

and oh man. don't forget the tunes.

it's the tunes that brings it forward.



Wednesday, November 22, 2006


What are the words that would
Get me through to you
What are the words that would
Tell you something new
What are the words that would
Get something across
What are the words that would
Express more than is lost
What are the words that would
Meet feeling ration’ly
What are the words that would
Get me back to me

Words I’ve tried and words I’ve failed
Words have stuttered, words have sailed
Words mean more than words have said
Words that leave me blushed with red
Words transcending space and time
Words that don’t and words that rhyme
Words that roll right off the tongue
Words of speech and words of song
Words you wish that you had said
And other words you said instead
Words you wish you could take back
Words abound though meaning, lack
Words you’ve said with silent eyes
Words made up for bitter lies
Words for peace and words for war
Words for everything and more

a world where

I live in a world where Everything isn’t as it seems

I live in a world where Everything emits light in streams

I live in a world where Reality is no more real than dreams

I live in a world where Love exists in all extremes

I live in a world where Angels rock me as I sleep

I live in a world where It’s better to give than it is to keep

I live in a world where The littlest things make me weep

I live in a world where Nothing is too heavy or too deep

I live in a world where Money doesn’t mean a thing

I live in a world where A simple word means much more than a ring

I live in a world where Both lion and the mouse can be the king

I live in a world where Everything’s said better in sing

I live in a world where Everyone’s enrobed in coloured light

I live in a world where There’s more to see than just with sight

I live in a world where The chaos is ordered, everything is just right

I live in a world where People meet in dreams at night

I live in a world where Smiles and thoughts are medicine

I live in a world where We’re all the same, despite the skin we’re in

I live in a world where Everything good comes from within

I live in a world where Love makes this whole world spin

I live in a world where Everything is divine

I live in a world where Everything, yes, everything is fine

I live in a world where There’s no reason to fear dyin’

I live in a world where Everything is worth tryin’

Sunday, November 19, 2006


there is not much time left for blogging between world of warcraft and... er... world of warcraft.

i know. huuuuge nerd. i have accepted the reality. your judgment cannot harm me.

Friday, November 17, 2006

in google, we trust.

ok, so things are the same just better.

the normal of it all makes it better.

oh. and so does the better.
google is a metaphor of my life. i will have to take over.

frig. i have a lot of things to do. i've been neglectful. and i'm still not sure how to all fit it in... with ease, i suppose, is the easiest.
post options?

Saturday, November 11, 2006

stabby things

it amazes me. it really does. the senseless random hatred. post a small video on youtube and i guarantee that no matter what the content, someone will come along eventually and post a hateful hateful comment about it. about how you are gay and should be a candidate for ethnic cleansing. i didn't tell you to watch it buddy. it's just there. for me. for my friends. for people who care. whatever. it's disenheartening is all. and scary. and it makes me want to take down everything i've posted on youtube, but then again, that is letting hate win isn't it?

i hate hate.

Wednesday, November 8, 2006

idealic little selves

the temperature comes from inside

it's time again. maybe a little earlier this year. it's christmas time. i don't know why today of all days, but it's officially started for me. and i wonder if i'll find any more holiday awesome songs this year. i am excited, because i have done so much of the work already. i'm more prepared this year, think. thanks to last year.

oi vay.

why i come off so bahumbug about everything, when i'm enjoying myself so.


maybe cause everything stresses me so.

ok, going to dedicate myself to listening to music now. it is all i can really concentrate on and my hands are so cold that i will find something to warm them because it's making my neck tense, or maybe that's the thinking about shopping for christmas anxiety. *lalalalalalalala* i can't hear you.

three monkeys

most of the time, lately, when i try expressing myself in any new sort of way i feel like i want to and/or might raise my hands to my ears, clench my eyes and sing lalalalala at random awkward pitches and wish myself elsewhere. clearly, something needs to relax. clearly, someone needs to meditate.

Monday, November 6, 2006

thinking again

sometimes i wish i knew some more things. not about things that you can read about. just like, if i knew more things about things that people don't know about each other. that if i knew more things, i would want that. but then, if i knew more things, i don't think i would be the same person. and then i guess the things i would know would be different things. and either way, would i want to be a different person? and maybe the information would overwhelm me. most likely. and so would i really want to know more things afterall? well, probably not. most likely it is clear that i think too much. and thinking is for nonsense, for the most part.

and mostly it's muddled in my mind for the most part. and mostly it's musty and smelly and old. and mostly i mostly don't pay much attention, but sometimes something's suddenly free. like a bird that was caged monst the nonsense, and rage and the boxes of awkward uncomfortable things.

crazy caption

my friend has a picture of themself holding a really tiny guitar, and the caption reads: play a little guitar.

bah. that's hilarity.

Sunday, November 5, 2006

sunday november

most importantly, i need some time alone sometimes.

mweh mweh mweh mweh mweh
i'm only accepting virtual company right now.

sunday is for getting things done
unexpectectedly getting things done

there is no rhyme or reason for any of it at least not that i am aware.
i am not aware.
i'm unaware.

i am aware now

i like to wear this hat on my head. i wear it almost every chance i can get. i've always liked hats, but though this one in particular. just by being on my head it is massaging it, as hats tend to do, but this one hugs my head not loose, not tight, just there and covering everything that can even be considered forhead, and even my eyes if i was so inclined, as i sometimes can be. and it is beautiful for when your head hurts, as mind is so inclined to be. is that how you spell forhead? you would think i would know. i should know.

i like to wear the colour gray. or at least much that i wear on a regular basis and when i am lounging (a lot of the time) around the house is usually gray. gray is supposed to be depressing or something, or interact in some not the greatest way with your energy. but i don't feel this about gray. i feel comfortable. like brown too. is supposed to be a not so great colour for wearing and feeling optimally. but sometimes i'm most optimal at gray and brown. sometimes it's important for me to be there.

the hat is gray. that is why.

i sewed a lot of things back together today. clothes, basically. clothes only, actually. but i feel like someone should give me a doll that lost something that i could sew back on, and maybe the doll has sentimental value to you and you can't sew? who can't sew? is this possible? it's just like in and out with a needle. anyway, hopefully people can't and i will sew your doll back together, or something like a doll, like with sentimental value. and so i repair it and you are very happy and i am happy then, too. you should know though that i am just doing it for my own happiness. not yours. yours is just an innocent bystander. in a good luck accident.

it doesn't matter why i feed the poor, as long as i feed the poor.

this, my friends, is how the world goes round.
this, my friends, is what makes it work.
this, my friends, this thing called life.

i'm so lucky to be wearing my gray hat and having it be so kind as to massage my head while i wear it and look cool, though sometimes ridiculous at the same time and that is the best way to look, at least it is my favourite.

you don't even match.

sometimes there is no reason for question marks.


bugs bugs bugs

free now (super furry animals w/ paul mcartney)

do what you want to do
do what you want to do
do what you want to do
do what you want to do
d o w h a t y o u w a n t t o d o

i feel it
i feel it
i feel it
i feel it

free now
gotta be free now

Saturday, November 4, 2006

choose your own adventure

because i didn't know where else to go, i imagined a road. what kind of road you ask? well, of course, i will oblige you.

the details of course, are of the most importance.

reflect on your choices.

so, i was walking down a road. more specifically, i was walking on the side of the road and the streets are paved of gold. i am not wearing shoes, and the grass is high up to my ankles, and luscious and green and ripples, like waves, from the wind. incidentally, i look like a kid out of a painting. with overalls, rolled up, a straw hat and straw, also, from my mouth. perhaps fishing rod over my shoulder?

i didn't make that up... am i just allowed to steal?

lie back, be still. go on.

i have my hands safely in my pockets, my shoulders hunched, walking at an angle as if there were wind, but there isn't any more than just this slight breeze.

maybe i am even a boy, i'm not sure.

the road stretches onto the horizon. i do not see end. the sun is low and setting on the road, like it is my goal. the gold is ablaze in the road, and i can feel it hot without even touching it. i forget to not take for granted the cool fresh grass on my feet. i bounce slightly on the balls of my feet in symbolic apreciation.

i appreciate you. symbolically.

from behind, i hear the rumblings of the comings of a truck, beat up and dusty, i can already tell though i haven't turned. i forget to not take for granted my favourable luck. the truck stops just to my left, i haven't even yet to glance over. when the truck stops, i jump right in. and i ride into the sunset in an old pick up truck on a road blazing gold.

the road is ablaze of gold.
played guitar check
played tag in the park with the cat check
didn't clean my room but really needed to check
put off doing the laundry check
gave up on even thinking of either of these things at seven pee em because pretty much the day is over by that point when really i have loads of time check
probably stay up late to do both probably check

saturday activities

seriously. who works on a saturday.
apparently me.

i have the hottest new belt. my mom just up and bought it for me at a rummage sale, and boo for me for having to work and missing the rummaging. but the belt makes up for it. and the time-and-a-half-which-means-i'm-getting-an-ipod-pay.

meh. i'm hardly complaining. it was like an entertaining day basically. and the pay. and so basically win-win. and plus i'm already all caught up on typical saturday activities. bye.